Another faux pas from a clueless guy

Guy (on a dating site I belong to): i'm not into men...period. however you seem very sweet.
Me: Is that you calling me a man?
Guy: no absolutely not. i do think and look at you as woman. i meant that i don't date men who look like men.

Heh.

Happy Turkey Day to all who celebrate

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to say happy eating. And don't let the women do all the dishes and cooking, and be sure to keep the guys from monopolizing the TV!

Young gender individualists

Over the past few days, I found a number of blogs about kids who cross gender boundaries. One of the most beautiful things about this is that they get to do it without being conscious of labels. It's completely innocent and organic. What bliss. And what inspiration.



GirlyBoy, written by the mother of a child who is fond of girliness.

Sarah Hoffman: On parenting a boy who is different, written by a mom who describes her child as a "pink boy."

Labels are for Jars. Love that title! It's written by a mom who says her child "sees the world through different eyes." The blog's banner is totally cute, featuring the child in a fairy costume.

School dress codes hostile toward youth

This is irksome to no end for various reasons. A teenage girl's photo was excluded from her high school yearbook because she wore a tuxedo instead of a traditional black drape that's designated for "female" students.

A recent New York Times article says that stories like these are cropping up more and more as youngsters' feelings and perceptions of gender increasingly clash with those held by the traditionally minded individuals who make the rules.

The student whose photo was banned, Ceara Sturgis, is a senior at Wesson Attendance Center who is openly lesbian. She said that even her gender expression is nontraditional, explaining that she felt much more like herself in a tux. But despite intervention from the Mississippi ACLU on her behalf, the Copiah County School District didn't budge from its decision.

Educators were quoted in the New York Times article as saying that crossdressing students are disruptive to the academic environment, and that their wardrobes violate school dress codes. But while it's important to prevent disruption in the classroom, that shouldn't automatically mean that schools should uphold wardrobe policies that restrict clothing based on physical sex. Such policy decisions represent blatant bias against gender nonconformity, particularly hostile toward LGBTQ youth.

In light of the fact that educators are supposed to be looking out for kids' best interests (or are they?), it's astonishing and appalling that many of them don't show the slightest regard for gender expression and gender identity. In many schools, students are merely expected to squeeze themselves into the traditional male and female molds, and to hell with whatever negative effects that may have on kids' well being and development as individuals.

The sexual politics of a hug

I never knew hugging could be so rich with personal revelations regarding our sexual and gender identity, as well as sexual equality. That is, until I found myself in a romantic embrace with a girl I used to date pre-transition. It caused me to ponder the topic so seriously, that I wrote about it for The Bilerico Project. Excerpt:

"... Then when the time came to say goodnight, she moved in to make out with me. And that's when she cast me in my prior sex role -- without even a second thought. When I say 'cast me in my prior sex role,' I'm not referring to the kiss. ... It was the hugging part that got to me. In fact, it caused me to abruptly end the embrace due to my overwhelming feeling of awkwardness."

The post then goes on to ruminate about why self-identified straight women automatically reach for their partners' neck when engaging in a romantic hug. You can read the full post here.

Las Vegas' first LGBTQ conference: the ups and downs, the good and bad

Even though they served Starbucks and yummy scones for breakfast, and pasta, meatballs and salad for lunch, today I nearly cried tears of deep sadness at an LGBTQ conference I attended while watching little schoolchildren use words expressing shock and disgust in reaction to a teacher's question regarding how they felt about queer people. The kids were featured in documentary footage shown during one of the workshops at Come Out 2009 today in Las Vegas, the first gathering of its kind for the community.

It was that kind of a day -- evoking sort of a roller coaster of emotions -- as conference attendees gathered in the Student Union at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, to discuss issues of bullying and discrimination against LGBTQ youth in school. Attendees mainly consisted of teachers from the Clark County School District (the Las Vegas area's jurisdiction of public schools.) I was one of the few community members, and I was glad I went because I was able to provide a good degree of input. Yay.

Randy McCrillis of the UNLV Office of Civic Engagement & Diversity said students in the Clark County School District are "greatly underserved" with regard to LGBTQ support. He said the goal of the conference was to start addressing that need. Organizers said they would like to hold the event annually.

Bigoted parents fail in bid to block queer-themed plays at school

A group of local parents who sought to stop Las Vegas-area high school students from performing two queer-themed plays heard some bad news today. A district judge denied their request, allowing the curtains to go up on "The Laramie Project" this weekend, as well as the musical "Rent" in early 2010. From the ACLU of Nevada:

" 'This case is important because it emphasizes the fact that schools, if they are doing their job properly, will confront and deal with controversial issues and will not be stopped because of the wishes of a few disgruntled parents,' said Allen Lichtenstein, General Counsel for the ACLU of Nevada."

The effort to derail the shows was not the first of its kind. "The Laramie Project" drew anti-LGBTQ objections in 2004, too, only it involved a different Las Vegas school. The attempts seem particularly disgraceful in light of the fact that "The Laramie Project" deals with the murder of Matthew Shepard, whose namesake federal bill was just signed into law by the president on Oct. 28, adding hate crimes protections covering gender, gender identity, sexual orientation and disability.

For me, it was a sober reminder of how practically every single step of the way can turn into a battle.

Vegas is a party, except when you're transgender

If you've ever wondered about the nature of Las Vegas' and Nevada's social climate and what it's like to live there as a trans person, check out my Bilerico Project post, Vegas still casts desert mirage of equality.

How we magnify sex differences

Heard about this book from a friend and immediately placed it on my to-read shelf. Author Lise Eliot explores differences in boys’ and girls’ brains, and discusses how they are not nearly as significant as commonly believed.

From the Globe and Mail’s intro to its interview with Eliot:

In her new book, Pink Brain Blue Brain, Dr. Eliot argues that brains are shaped by how kids spend their time – playing with dolls versus balls – and that small, innate differences become amplified over time by parents, teachers and immersion in boy or girl culture.